


Thawed

by rockangel72701



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Married Couple, Multi, Post-Civil War (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2016-08-31
Packaged: 2018-08-12 05:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7922089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockangel72701/pseuds/rockangel72701
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky comes back after five years of being in the Wakandan facility for his treatment. A lot has changed including that Steve and Sharon are married. What happens when an old flame reignites?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Zhelaniye. Rzhavyy. Semnadtsat’. Rassvet. Pech’. Devyat’. Dobroserdechnyy vozvrashcheniye na rodinu. Odin. Gruzovoy vagon. What is your name?

“James Buchanan Barnes.” I said, silently praying this was the last time. The doctor stared blankly at me with the edges of his lips slightly curling up. He detached the brain equipment, then excused himself, leaving me to my own thoughts. I remembered the day I signed up for this. The fear that I’d never leave and be stuck in this eternal loop of freeze and thaw. The hope of seeing Steve again, the hope that I wouldn’t be a danger to anyone anymore. Even though this was a major step it didn't mean I couldn’t snap back. How could I know if they’ll even release me? I started scanning the room.Could I escape? Where did they put the arm? How do I know if Stark is still pissed at me? Would Steve intervene? Did he finally come to his senses and decide to get rid of me? Did HYDRA still have more agents like me, could they take me back? I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. Then I heard footsteps coming towards me and then stop all of a sudden. I heard Dr. Imani start to talk to someone. After a brief chat with Steve she entered my room. When I saw her walk into the room, I calmed down a bit. Her warm smile, flowing black locks, and amber eyes remind me of the slivers of memory I had left of my old lady.

“Hey, how are you today?” She said sitting in the chair in front of me.

“Fine.” I replied. She raised her eyebrows at me. “Honestly, I just want to know if I’m going to cryo again.”   
She smiled and rested her hand atop mine. “No, you don’t have to go back into cryo again. We just have to run a few more tests to make sure you’re okay though.” I froze and my mind couldn’t accept the possibility of me going home. I couldn’t help the smile spreading throughout my face. But, where was home? Back in the glory days it used to be back in New York with Steve and a lady-friend. I remembered that was one of the things I had always thought about. Most of the people in the military were thinking of the same thing, except Steve. For him that was his home, he never thought about going back. I missed the good ol’ days when everything was so simple. The fight was black and white, there was no doubt that we were the good guys. There was no doubt about who the enemy was there weren’t any gray areas. Back then you didn’t have to worry about killing innocent people. We didn’t have to worry about if what we were doing was wrong. It was so simple. Even when I was working with HYDRA it was simple. Hell, it was probably simpler. All I had to do was follow orders and not question them. However, afterwards everything was blurred. Nothing was black and white, everything was the same shade of confusing grey. It was even harder when the Avengers split up and took sides against each other. I could see both sides of the argument, but I’m very biased. I had both Steve and my run ins with the law to keep me sided with Steve. They honestly could’ve sat down to talk about things and compromise. Then again when has Steve ever really compromised on anything.The more I thought about everything the more the joy that had just filled my entire was replaced with dread. I had always thought about the idea of leaving, but it was never anything more than that. I couldn’t go back to Steve I’ve already ruined too much. It was the combination of Steve being protective and stubborn that caused the stupid fight. I still don’t know why Steve never gave up on me. 

“What is it?” She asked with a slight tilt of her head.

“What kind of testing?” I asked and she took the bait.

“All we’re going to do is more mental exams, nothing physical.”

“Will I get my arm back?” I asked.  
She gave me a knowing smile. “When you leave the facility.” She said in a very motherly tone and I smirked. She got up and reattached the brain scanning equipment. 

I saw the pure amazement and joy in his face as we watched the firework show together. His ma had told him that the fireworks were just for him because of his birthday, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise. He sat right next to me with my jacket engulfing his tiny, shivering body and had to use me as a personal heater. I didn’t mind too much because cooled me down.  
“Did ya see that one Buck, it was red, white, and blue!” Steve said in utter amazement.  
“Yeah Stevie. You should draw some pictures of the fireworks after the show’s done. That way you can always remember them.” I suggested.  
“That’s a great idea! Why didn’t I think about that?” Steve beamed.  
“‘Cuz someone’s gotta be the brains while you go beat up everyone on the block.” I teased. He started giving me a mini glare and pout. I couldn’t help but start to erupt in laughter. I could see him start to lose his composure, then he started roaring in laughter. After a few minutes of intense stomach burning laughter we started to calm down. Then we looked at each other and erupted in laughter again. I had tears forming in my eyes and I was gasping for air. After a few more giggle fits we finally calmed down.   
“Jerk.”  
“Punk.” We started laughing uncontrollably again and neither of us noticed that the fireworks had stopped half an hour before.

When I regained consciousness, I heard a very anxious person pacing the floor muttering things to himself. As soon as I heard him mutter I knew it was Steve. I feigned unconsciousness as I realized he was on the phone and listened in.

“It’s only temporary. Yeah, I’ll be home later. Bye.” Steve whispered into the phone. I heard his footsteps walk toward me, and the chair next to my bed creek. I opened my eyes and I saw Steve hovering over me with his hands clasped and knuckles touching his lips. While his eyes were fixed on me swirling with anxiety and concern. When he saw me open my eyes he brightened up. 

“Hey Buck, what’s eatin’ ya?” He said his voice laced with worry and excitement.

“Nothin’.” I said trying to sit up, but fatigue washed over me in waves. Steve saw and helped me up.

“You sure?” He said looking me over.

“Yeah, I just feel a little tired.” Truth is I’ve never gotten used to the feeling of waking up after a visit from the shrink. I don’t know what they use to knock me out, but it’s nothing I’ve experienced before. Whatever it is it’s much tamer than what HYDRA used, maybe new is a good thing.

“You look like you’ve been through the wringer.” Steve said with a smile. He looked the exact same as the last time I saw him. I assume it’s the serum working its magic. If someone bottled the anti-aging part of it they’d be set for life.

“You don’t look so keen either. ” I chuckled and gave him a playful glare. “Am I leaving here today?” 

Steve smiled. “That’s why I’m here.” 

I smiled back. Today was the day I was leaving this prison. I was so happy to leave, I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. I wasn’t even allowed visitors and as much as I liked Imani, I didn’t want to see the same people everyday. I wanted to get out and meet new people and see new things. Don’t get me wrong, I could stay in one place looking at the same thing for a painstakingly long amount of time , but it was not my idea of fun.  
“I already filled out the paperwork, all we need to do is leave.” He reached behind him and grabbed a huge box covered in simple silver and green striped wrapping paper. “Here, you’ll need this.” He gave me the box and I carefully opened it. Inside cut was the arm. I looked up at Steve who was anticipating my reaction. “It’s your decision on whether or not you want to wear it.” 

I looked back at the arm. I tried putting on the arm correctly, it took me a few tries, but I got it. The arm was cleaned and fully repaired, it even felt more like an actual arm.  
“Thanks Steve.” I said standing up with Steve. We walked in comfortable silence in the hallway. I made sure to look all over the building trying to find things I hadn’t picked up before. We made it all the way to the front desk until I saw Dr. Imani again. 

“ Mr. Barnes-” 

I smiled and cut her off. “I told you already, you can call me Bucky or at least James.” 

She playfully rolled her eyes. “-here’s my contact info so you can reach me if you need to. Mr. Rogers has your schedule and appointments. You will have daily check ups with me, then weekly, monthly, semi-annually, annually, and so on and so forth, until they determine you are no longer a ‘threat’.” If you have even a single mishap you have to come back here and you won’t ever leave again. You can’t leave the house at all until the five year mark has passed. If you are caught you get sent back here. I’m sorry the rules are strict, it’s just precaution nothing personal. She leaned in and whispered in my ear. “But between you and me, you’re not a threat to anyone but yourself. And that’s only if you let yourself be. You have the potential to be great. Now whether that’s for good, bad, selfishly, or not at all is your choice. After all you’ve been through a lot, you deserve to make decisions for yourself for once ” She stepped away and looked at us and smiled. “Well you two have to get going it’s gonna be a long flight.” She shook our hands. “I’ll see you two tomorrow, have a safe trip.”

“ Thank you. See you tomorrow.” Steve and I said.   
****************************************************************************************************  
“Ready?” He said.

“Yeah.” I replied and we walked out of the airport to the car. As soon as the music started playing I knew what it was. “Really Steve, Don’t Fence Me In? I didn’t know you still listened to the oldies.” 

Steve started laughing and smiled at me. “I usually listen to it when I’m alone. I don’t have the same music taste as everyone else.” 

“You didn’t have the same music taste as everyone back then either. You were listening to music from the 20s and 30s. Maybe if you didn’t parade around telling everyone on the block that 40s music sucked, and the 20s and 30s were the best. You probably wouldn’t have gotten picked on as much.” 

“Ha, I guess I’ve always been kind of a fuddy-duddy. Huh?” He said holding back a grin. As soon as he said that I started having a laughing fit. When I started Steve lost it too.

“Hot damn Steve! I didn’t know you had that in ya!”

“I usually filter it out, but I screw up sometimes.” We both smiled as Take the A Train started playing, then I started getting the itch to dance.  
“You still a dead hoofer?” I asked. Steve raised his eyebrow at me and chuckled.

“Can you still cut a rug?” 

My grin was akin to the Cheshire Cat's.“Is the joint by Myrtle Avenue still open? If so we can head there and see if you’re just as bad as you were then.” I teased. Hopefully he still wasn’t terrible at dancing, you would hope that over the years he would’ve gotten better.  
“Maybe, gotta ask Sharon first.” We pulled up into the driveway of a dull white house in the suburbs. 

“Who? Why?”

“Well, remember when the fight broke out between the Avengers and I kissed that one girl? Well, we’ve been married for five years now.” Steve answered.

I was stunned I didn’t know the kid would’ve ever gotten with someone after Peggy. That also meant I’ve been in cryo for five years.  
“Wait, so it’s 2021? I’ve been under for five years? How come everything still looks the same?”

“Whoa slow down. I’ll explain when we get inside.” 

We walked inside of the house and it looked just as plain as it did on the outside. The walls were a plain off-white with a few pictures and paintings Steve had made decorating them.There was a small kitchen to the left of the living room with all the same cliché sayings as all the others. Steve ushered me into the living room and turned on the record player.   
“You still have that old thing?” I asked amused.

“Yeah, it used to be ma and pop’s so I couldn’t get rid of it. You wanna a beer?” I nodded and he sat down and handed me my beer. Steve continued, “When I woke up from the ice they had staged this elaborate set to make it seem like nothing happened. I found out about it and had a rude awakening. Anyway, they were going to do the same to you and I objected and it’s been a back and forth ever since. We just agreed on having you stay here this morning. They also decided it would be best for me to catch you up, because they didn’t know how you’d react.”.   
“So, how’s it been? Anything important happen? How’s the girl? Are things between Panther, Stark, and you okay now? How’s Natasha doing?”   
Steve looked a little surprised and then smiled. “I’ve been good, better now that you’re here. Nothing significant happened. While you were gone we did a little team building camp, so nothing like that would happen again. Natasha’s still Natasha, Banner and her still haven’t hit it off yet.” Steve paused and sighed. “Honestly though, I’m thinking about divorcing Sharon.” 

I was shocked. Last time I saw them I thought they were kind of cute. I was just worried that he was only interested her because of Peggy. However, from what I’ve seen it seemed genuine I wish I could’ve had the chance to get to know them both before I went in.   
“Why?”

“Well, I’ve just ran out of gas for her. We’re always away from each other so that doesn’t help. She wants to settle down and I can’t yet, I don’t even think I could if I wanted to. She wants kids and I’m trying to get her to see that it’s cruel to put a kid in this situation. But she’s convinced we could make it work.” Steve said with a sigh and a long drink of his beer.

“Hey, you know what Steve. You always end up making the right decision in the end. I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again. No matter what Steve, I’m with you ‘til the end of the line.” I put my hand on his shoulder. He turned and looked at me with a far off look in his eye. 

He smiled a small sad smile.“Thanks Buck.” 

We just sat there and listened to “Till the End of Time” until the sky grew black and the stars shone bright. A long sigh escaped Steve’s mouth.

“Come on Buck lemme show you where you’re gonna sleep.” We got up and walked to the back of the house where the guestroom was located. “Here’s your room and me and Sharon’s room is on the other side of the bathroom. Just in case you need anything, but I’m sure you got it handled.”

“Thanks Steve.”

“Anytime. Okay, I’m heading to bed, night.”

“Night.” I said and walked into the room.It was kind of small with a simple light brown wood bed in between the nightstand and the window. To the right stood a medium sized mahogany dresser with a closet next to it. On top of the light blue and silver blankets on the bed was a pair of pajamas. I changed and looked in the fully stocked dresser, smiled, and laid down.


	2. Chapter 2

“Come on Steve, you gotta try harder. Now remember you step with your right and turn with your left.” Steve nodded. We held hands again with one of his hands around my waist. We started gliding across the living room floor in Steve’s apartment to “Oh Johnny, Oh Johnny”. “Okay that’s it, nice an’ easy now. That’s my foot.” “Sorry.” He spun me around and we glided to the other end of the room. “There we go, now you’re gettin’ it. You can take your eyes off of the floor now. ” Steve smiled and looked up at me. After a few beats he got cocky and tried to do a spin n dip. However he forgot how weak he was and we fell straight to the floor, with him laying right on top of me. I started howling with laughter and Steve got as red as a tomato, and soon he started laughing with me. It took me a while to realize how close we were, but neither of us moved while we were catching our breath. Parted lips centimeters apart, Steve’s long eyelashes barely touching my own, pale icy blue eyes gazing gently into my dark ones. I could feel the pull between us and my eyes flickering back and forth from his eyes to his full red lips. I just wanted to feel the softness of his lips against mine. It took everything in my power not to kiss him. I could see the want in his eyes as well, or it may just have been my lust mirroring in his innocent eyes. I didn’t realize that we were moving closer toward each other until it was too late. His eyes fluttered shut as our lips brushed up against each other’s. Not having all of the commitment of a full kiss but all of the promise of what it brings on the premise of later. I woke up startled at the sudden recollection. I felt as if a small flame inside of me had been ignited once more. I touched my lips and could still feel the promise that had been made. Then reality hit me and I realized that those days were gone. That we’re not the same men as we were those 75 or so years ago. That promise was now his reality, just with someone else. I got ready and went to the kitchen to grab something to eat when I saw Sharon on the phone rushing out of the house. “Hey James good morning, sorry I wasn’t here yesterday, just wanted to say welcome back.” She said as she grabbed a piece of toast. She made her way to the door, waved to me, and then left. I sat down and ate a bowl of cereal as Steve entered the room looking exhausted. “Mornin’ sleeping beauty.” I said giving him a nod. I smirked and replied,“Mornin’, jerk.” he grabbed a bowl and sat down beside me. “Punk.” I said under my breath. Steve chuckled. “So, we goin’ dancing tonight?” “Yeah, gotta do it in the house though. Also, the people Stark sent are coming around noon so we gotta be ready.” I nodded in agreement. We sat watching old cartoons and movies on TV until the doorbell rang. Steve looked at the clock and went to go check the door. I heard Steve say “come on in” and Dr. Imani came through the door with two agents. “Hey, James how are you?” She said giving a knowing smile. “I’m good.” I replied with a grin. “So Steve do you mind-” Imani said. “Yeah I’ll be back later.” With that Steve left. I felt the impulse to worry, but I remembered that we can handle ourselves. “So James this syringe is filled with a solution that will make you tell the truth. Now I don’t want to use it on you, but I will if I have no other choice. So James have you had any new memories?” “Yeah, one.” “That’s good. Have you had any Winter Soldier moments?” “No.” “That’s wonderful.” The interview went on for half an hour. She kept asking the same questions over and over again, just with different phrasing. I didn’t see the Dr. Imani I knew, but that’s pretty reasonable considering the two agents inside. I was glad when she left and Steve returned. “So, how’d it go?” “It was fine, irritating as all hell, but fine.” Steve smiled.“So, you ready to go dancing?” “I’m ready when you are grandpa.” “Grandpa? You’re older than me remember?” I rolled my eyes. He went on Pandora and put on a playlist. He held his hand out and I took it. We danced and swung, turned and twisted across the living room. “Hey where’d you learn to dance like this? Whoever taught you was a real somethin.” I asked and we switched roles. Steve smiled and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, a real somethin’ alright.” We continued dancing until around 3AM. Then Steve got the bright idea to spin us around together and try to dip me. He ended up getting dizzy as he tried to dip me and we fell. We started laughing at our messed up state. Then I quickly realized the position we were in. I could’ve sworn I was reliving the memory, but then Steve realized it too. “Hey, remember when we were back in Brooklyn in the 40s and you were teaching me how to dance?” Steve said in a hushed voice. He was an inch away from my face, eyes full of expectation and something else. “Yeah.” I was getting a slight lump in my throat, not knowing where he was going with this. He leaned forward slightly and searched my eyes. “I remember you huffing and puffing. I also remember-” I moved closer; our lips brushing up against each other’s. “Steve.” I sighed remembering the feminine, curvy wall between us. He closed his eyes and smiled. “You know this is the happiest I’ve been in a long time. I want to feel this way all the time, please, let me.” I couldn’t help but kiss him with everything I had promised him that night. He returned the kiss and I forgot about everything outside of what I was feeling. He rolled to the side beside me and we laid there, just glad to be in each other’s presence.


	3. Chapter 3

It’s been three weeks since the kiss and I’ve never been happier. We watched movies, laughed, ate, drank, and danced together. We talked about the war, the Howling Commandos, Peggy, the Avengers, and even HYDRA.I had to be careful though because I knew the house was bugged. As the weeks grew on Sharon had grown more cold and distant towards me and I knew that she had found out about our arrangement. After Sharon went to work Steve walked up behind me and gave me a hug.  
“Hey.” Steve said giving me a kiss on the cheek.   
“Hey, you seem happy this afternoon.”  
“Yeah I guess so.”   
I turned around to face him.“I think Sharon knows. I mean you are still married to each other.”  
“ I got the divorce papers yesterday. This would’ve happened whether you were here or not. Look I’ve tried with her, I really have. Hell, we even went to counseling, I just don’t love her anymore. I love you Bucky.”  
“And I love you too. I just don’t want Sharon to get hurt. You can see she still loves you.”  
“Just let me worry about it.”  
“Okay.” 

We sat down on the couch watching Sanford and Son reruns. Steve leaned on me and I felt at ease again. “Hey Steve remember your 20th birthday?”  
“Yeah, when we went out and watched the fireworks?”  
“You still thought the fireworks were for you.” I chuckled.  
“No, I knew it was for the Fourth, but I didn’t want to let my mom know. Man I miss that.”  
“What?”  
“Just hanging out and watching the show.”  
“How come you don’t?”  
“Sharon is deathly afraid of them, so we always left the States when it came around.” 

I could only ‘oh’ in response. That was one of Steve’s favorite holidays and he couldn’t even be in America for it. We fell asleep, but then I woke up and saw from the corner of my eye Sharon putting a blanket over us with tears in her eyes. I slowly got up, careful not to wake up the sleeping Steve beside me. I got her attention and motioned her to follow me to my room. She came in and I closed the door.  
“Sharon what’s wrong?”   
She became infuriated. “Oh I don’t know, maybe the fact that my husband’s cheating on me in my own house. And he’s cheating on me with the person I welcomed into my home with open arms. Or maybe it’s the fact that he spends more time with you than with me!” She yelled in a hushed tone.  
“Sharon, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for it to turn out like this. But you know how Steve is, once he has his heart set on something you can’t do anything about it.”  
“Yeah, you know that used to be me. We were so happy, but something changed last year. He became less happy and more withdrawn. I’ve never seen him this happy until now. Why? Why is it you? Is it something I did? I’d do anything to keep him around. Is that too selfish?” Sharon interrogated. I went up and gave Sharon a hug and she cried into my shoulder. “I really like you Sharon and I was really happy when you two got together. And I have no clue why he likes me. Hell I don’t even know why you let me stay here in the first place. You know this is his first relationship and the longest he’s ever been in. Give him a little time to work things out. He’s long overdue for a mid-life crisis, this is probably what it is. Some people’s parents start dying and for others their friend comes back from the dead, tries to kill them, and then lives with them. ”   
Sharon started laughing. “What are we doing James? I’m supposed to hate you, not hug you.”  
“Well, the dames can’t help but love me.” I said winking at her. She punched my arm and we started laughing.  
“Thanks James, I needed to let this all out. I just didn’t expect it to be you.”   
“Me neither. I really like you Sharon, let’s be friends.”  
“I’d like that.” She left and I went back to sleep in my room.


	4. Chapter 4

I woke up to the house being completely silent, except for the faint sounds of muffled crying. I went over to where I had heard the noise and I ended up in front of Sharon and Steve’s room. I tapped quietly on the door. I hesitated slightly before continuing.  
“Hey, can I come in?”   
I heard someone clear their throat. “Yeah.” Steve strained to say. I opened the door to find Steve sitting on the edge of his bed with his face in his hands. I walked up and sat next to him putting a hand on his shoulders. However, he scooted away from me and frowned deeply.   
“What’s wrong?” I asked concerned. He refused to look at me, instead he stared into his lap.  
“We can’t be together anymore.”   
I was shocked and scared. Was it something I said? “What do you mean? I don’t understand.”  
“Sharon’s pregnant.” I was shocked and confused I couldn’t find my words. “She told me this morning before she left for work. She is four weeks in now and the first doctor’s appointment is on Monday. I can’t leave Buck, I’m going to be here another 18 years. I don’t even know if I can do this. I don’t even think we should have a kid, our lives are too dangerous. What if I can’t be a good dad, what if the kid doesn’t even like me? I know I should be happy but, I’m not ready for this. I didn’t want this, maybe back then, but not now. Buck what am I going to do?”

“You know what you’re going to do? You’re going to go and love and support your wife. We’re going to just be friends again. And you’re going to be the best damn father there is because you have this in your DNA. You are too caring and too much of a family man to mess it up. Wait- did she ever sign the divorce papers? ”   
“No, she told me she was pregnant and so now I can’t. How do you know everything’s going to be okay?” He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes.  
“Because I just do. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and go figure out how to be a parent. Just like you figured out how to get into the war. You are way too determined and stubborn for you to be a bad dad. You will find a way because that’s who you are.You are Steve Rogers, Captain America, you were able to get captain as a title even though you weren’t. You were able to lead the Howling Commandos, you saved me and hundreds of other men on with limited resources. I’m absolutely positive you will get your marriage on track and be the best damn father in the entire world. You have the internet, classes, and countless other things we didn’t have back in the 40s. You know what marriages still lasted and people were still good parents without them. Steve you could not screw up even if you tried because you are too amazing of a person. ” Steve got up and went to call his wife.   
“Thanks Buck, you always know what to say.”  
“It’s only because I was with you every day.” I left the room so he could carry on his conversation in private. I started cooking something to clear my head. I could tell Steve what he needed to hear, but it was still hard coming to terms with what I needed to do.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up around five to help Sharon get ready for work. We decided to start going to marriage counseling again every week. I’ve even started teaching her the Lindy and Jitterbug, I’ve also been trying to get back to what we used to be. What Bucky and I-. No I couldn’t think about that anymore. Bucky and I were still good friends, but it wasn’t like it used to be. He grew more cold and distant, more James and less Bucky. I wished Peggy were still here, she could give me advice, she always knew the right thing to say. I was packing Sharon’s lunch in the kitchen when she came up and gave me a peck on the cheek.   
“Hey babe. Here’s your lunch, see if you can come home early tonight. Maybe we can start looking for things for the baby.”  
“Yeah, sounds like a plan. Okay I’m running late I’ll let you know when I get home okay?” She said giving me a chaste kiss on the lips.  
“Okay, drive safely.”  
“I will.” When she left I went into the room where Bucky was sitting on the couch reading a book. He was rapidly tapping his foot. I felt bad for him, he hated to be in one place for a long time. Oh well, it was either this or go back to Wakanda. What other choice did he have? If he slipped up even once he wouldn’t be allowed to come back. What’s the purpose of having someone like that caged somewhere? There was none and I’m afraid of what they would do in that situation.  
“Hey Buck, what are you reading?’” I asked sitting down next to him on the couch.  
“Oh nothin’” He said slightly moving away from me.  
“Hey have you ever thought about getting a haircut?”   
He looked at me quizzically and shrugged. “Yeah, I’ve thought about it, but I’m kind of liking the man bun. Besides the only people who see me are you and Sharon.”  
“Yeah, that’s true.” It was silent for a period of time, while Bucky was pretending to read his book.  
“You know I have to go back before the baby comes? Dr. Imani told me, apparently I pose too much of a threat still. It’s complete bullshit, I haven’t done anything at all.”  
“That’s stupid you’re family Buck.”  
“Anyway, I have to leave today. I don’t have anywhere else to go. Natasha wouldn’t even want to take me in, and I don’t blame her. I don’t even think they know where she is. Even if they knew where she lived, they don’t let felons hang out together, I don’t think they would let two assassins live together. I’ll go right back into cryo, the only reason I haven’t gotten put down yet is because of you. I don’t blame them for wantin’ to do that though. If I wanted to I could disappear, but I have to pay for what I’ve done.I figure this is the only path I have to redemption. ”  
“Come on Buck, it wasn’t your fault. They don’t punish us for what we did in the war, so why punish you now?”  
“Because I’ve killed good innocent people Steve. Veterans kill the bad guys, I did the opposite. You can’t just wipe the slate clean Steve, that’s not how the world works.”  
There was a knock at the door. I opened it and saw Dr. Imani and some other agents I recognized from my SHIELD days.  
“Good morning Mr. Rogers. I assume you know we’re here to bring James back now considering the added risk involved.” Imani explained. She seemed shaky and nervous and her eyes frequently shifted from the agents to me.

I saw as the agents removed Buck’s arm and gave him a shot with a syringe. He didn’t even try to fight back.  
“What are you doing? Everyone’s perfectly safe here, there’s nothing to worry about. Who told you to do this?” I watched concerned as an agent carried a ragdoll Bucky over his shoulder.  
“Well you have your wife to thank. I would think you would be happier since your wife and child are no longer in danger.” She then looked behind her as the two agents left to go put Bucky into the van. “I’m sorry Steve this was totally uncalled for. During our visits I could tell he was just starting to get adjusted to his semi-freedom. He was also gaining new memories and he was making excellent progress. You’re always welcome to visit. I hope you have a nice day, take care.” She said and left.   
I was crushed, he was only in my life for such a short time before he was gone again. What pained me the most was the way they treated him. I decided to text Sharon “we need to talk ASAP” and wait until she got home. When she finally got home she gave me a huge hug and kiss and I pushed her off of me.  
“What the hell?” She seemed confused as she set her stuff down. “What happened? Where’s James?”  
“What the hell do you mean? You told them to take him away!” I yelled running my hand through my hair.  
“Who is ‘them’? Besides I never told anyone to take him away.” Sharon argued.  
“Imani and the Wakandan agents.”  
“No, I didn’t. I swear I would never do that. He’s our friend and, even though you had an affair with him, I wouldn’t stoop that low Steve.”  
“Why the hell should I believe you?” I fumed.  
“Because I wouldn’t do that to him. He actually helped me out when you weren’t there.”  
“Then why did Imani say that you told her to?”  
“I don’t know Steve. What I do know is that something about this doesn’t seem right. We should contact T’Challa and see what’s up. We should go to bed though so we have enough energy to deal with this in the morning.”  
“I guess. Something still doesn’t feel right.”   
She hugged me and said, “Don’t worry babe we’re going to check it out and make sure he’s okay. Come on we can talk about it in the morning when you have a clear head. You do stupid things when you let your emotions take control. Come on I’ll call them to check before we go to bed.” She said. She was right I did make very dumb decisions when I let my emotions influence me, it would be best to handle this in the morning.

*****************************************************************************  
Where the hell was I? I couldn’t see and I was tied up and couldn’t move. All of a sudden I could see and I was in a very familiar chair. I saw Zola and some other people in a room. I knew exactly where I was. Then I saw Imani’s body lying on the floor next to me. I knew something seemed off about her, but I didn’t think she worked for HYDRA. Although she did seem really scared around them, so she was probably forced to do it. She was such a nice person, she didn’t deserve this! I heard Zola speak in his annoying German accent. I felt a surge of anxiety and dread wash over me. Hopefully I can get out of this without losing my mind.  
“Welcome home old friend! It’s time to begin where we left off!” I remember thinking help me Steve. And then everything went black.


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up and went into the kitchen where I heard Sharon yell at someone on the phone.

“Is everything okay?” I asked. She hung up the phone and gave me an exasperated look.

“The people from Wakanda said they hadn’t sent anyone over to get James. So I called some people at SHIELD to see if they did sent anyone and they hadn’t either. But they did put a tracer in him, so we should be able to figure out where he is. A friend of mine from work just sent me a text to where the tracer is. Suit up we’re heading out in ten.” She explained.

“Thanks Sharon.” I said and left to get dressed.

When I walked back into the kitchen I saw Stark talking to Sharon. “Why is he here?” I questioned.

“Ouch Cap, you wound me. You know a ‘Hey Tony how’s it going, nice to see you’ wouldn’t hurt.” Stark said dramatically. “Anyway, I know about your little predicament and Sharon thought I could help. I have a jet we can take, we’re gonna need it.”

“Wait we?” I questioned.

“Yes we, you don’t exactly have the best flying record and I’ll be there for backup, as well as Nat.”

“Come on we talk on the ride there.” Sharon ordered putting her gun in her belt. We met Nat as we got on the plane. 

“You know we should get together when we don’t have a life a stake.” Natasha said as she gave Sharon and I a hug. 

“Thanks ‘Tasha.” I said.

“Always there for a friend.” She replied. Everyone sat down as the jet took off.

“So we’re heading a couple miles outside of Vesenny, Russia. That’s where the tracer, and hopefully where James is. Now we don’t know who has him so we have to be careful. You all will head in together and Tony will lead the way. We also have to be very careful because if any Russian authority catches us we’re done. There’s also a really bad blizzard going on where we are going.” Sharon explained.

“Do you think HYDRA has him again?” Stark asked.

“It makes the most sense, let’s just hope they haven’t screwed up his head again. We don’t know how far they would go in his memory to start erasing. So  we have to act fast, we were lucky that Bucky was able to get his head right last time, this time we may not be so lucky.” I said. After another hour we heard the pilot announce we were over the drop off area.

“I’ll monitor everything from up here. Remember the name of the game is to play it safe and play it fast.” Sharon stated.

“What if things get out of hand?” I asked.

“I have your back. Trust me, this isn’t my first rodeo.” She said. “Just be careful out there. Don’t do anything stupid okay?” She said. I laughed.

“I’ll try not to.” I replied.

“Ready? You gonna put a parachute on this time?” Nat asked as we put our parachutes on. 

“Ha ha very funny Tasha. You know jumping out of a parachute isn’t something I’d like to repeat.” I joked. Stark flew out in his suit, while the rest of us jumped out. I hoped it wasn’t too late to save him. I don’t know if he could come back if he went through another brainwashing. Sharon is an amazing person and I still hope we can remain close after all of this. She really is Peggy’s niece. We crashed onto the snow and regrouped. 

“Follow me.” Stark ordered. It was a little hard to follow him since it was so dark and there was a blizzard. We entered an abandoned building and started searching it. It looked like it used to be a ballet studio. There were broken mirrors and boxes stacked around the room. The ceiling were cracked and chipped and looked like it was about to collapse. You could hear the howling and banging of the wind against the doors. There was graffiti and tags all over the mirrors. 

“I remember this place. It hasn’t changed much.” Natasha said as she moved across the room.

“So it always looked like a dump.” Stark inferred.

“Anything that can help us, like when we found Zola?” I asked. 

“Yeah, there should be a door behind this mirror.” Tasha said. She started pressing along the mirror. The mirror started to shake and slowly slide behind the other mirror. Stark led the way through the dark corridor..

“We’re getting close get ready. I’m detecting several heat signatures.” Stark warned. I pulled out my gun and readied my shield. “Hold up guys. JARVIS what are they saying?” We were able to hear the conversation through the speakers in our ears.

********************************************************************************************************

“Why are you doing this Zola? HYDRA’s done for, there’s nothing for you.” I asked. A computer with Zola was being wheeled in by Zemo. “I thought you were locked up.”

“I could say the same to you. Now you’re going to help us whether you like it or not.” Zemo said walking up to me.

“Like hell I am.” I denied

“Electrocute him again.” Zemo instructed. Before I knew it someone tried to stick the mouthguard back in my mouth. I bit their hand so hard that I could taste his blood in my mouth. The man was screaming loudly and socked me in the face, but I held on. I kept biting his hand until I was tased. It wasn’t the shock that made me let go, but it was the sudden surprise.

“If he wants to suffer let him. Get the others prepared.” Zola ordered. Just then I heard people burst through the door firing their guns. All of a sudden I saw Steve come and loosen my restraints. I left the chair in search for my arm and trying to shake off the effects of the shocks. Just then I heard a loud voice start to say those dreaded words. No. No. No. No. I tried to look for the source of sound. Then I saw a group of my comrades from the Winter Soldier Program start to reawaken. I needed to help my team. I walked over to their cryo chambers and was attacked by a HYDRA member. It was the hand guy, I easily brought him to his knees and snapped his neck. I continued walking until I saw three guys surround me. It was a little harder since I only had one arm and there were three guys. I decided to stop playing with them and grabbed a gun and shot them in the head. I started to make my way back when I found a long case on a counter where I found my arm. I swiftly reattached it, but it didn’t function as well as it would’ve if a professional would’ve put it on. I didn’t have a mission yet, but somehow I knew if I let my comrades thaw it wouldn’t be good. I quickly moved to their chambers and smashed the machines. An alarm started to go off and several people came to try to take me down. I picked up an automatic laying on the ground and started shooting them all until I heard a familiar voice. 

“Stand down soldier. Go fight the true enemy.” Zemo ordered. I followed my orders and I started to go at the metal one, but someone got in my way.

**“Remember your form Natalia.” I reminded. I jabbed her in her side and kicked her feet out from under her. “Your defences are left wide open.”**

**“I will do better.” Natalia said.**

**“What’s wrong? Your head isn’t in this Natalia. Remember they’re watching. Tell me when we’re done with training.” I whispered into her ear. She nodded her head slightly. I could tell something was wrong with her, but this wasn’t the time for it. There were people that oversaw us and if they figured out something was wrong with her. Well, then she’d either be altered or replaced. “Again.” We went at it again. She faked it well, at least well enough for them not to worry. After the practice I went to her room after training to check up on her.**

**“Knock, knock.” I said.**

**“Hey James, come in.” She said as she opened the door. “How are you doing?” She asked.**

**“Fine. Now what’s going on with you?” I asked. She frowned.**

**“Nothing.”**

**“Remember we can tell each other anything. We’re all we got here.” I reminded her. She sighed and smiled.**

**“Is this all that’s here for us? Is this all we were meant to do? I don’t know if this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. If we left we could get a chance to live together, without surveillance.” She replied.**

**“I know what you mean. We’re fine here there’s nothing to worry about. Besides what else would we do? We’re assassins who have no business being outside of this place. We’re safe here, as long as we follow orders we’re fine.”**

**“You’re right.”**

“Natalia, what are you doing fighting for these guys. You’re on our side, remember?” I questioned.

“Come on James, this is our chance to finally leave. We can go do something together.” Natalia urged.

“Why would I want to leave, you could just stay here with me. We’re doing good work here, we’re making the world a better place. Why would you want to stop? Natalia what’s going on?”

“This isn’t the HYDRA we know and love. Come with me and I’ll explain it to you.” She said. I hesitated. Something seemed very wrong to me. “Remember, we’re all we have. We can tell each other anything. You have to trust me James.” She persuaded. I still felt a consuming feeling of dread. However, this is Natalia and she has my back.

“Okay.” I decided. She smiled and it quickly vanished. That was one mission that I couldn’t complete. 

“Come on follow me.” I followed her and saw that most of the people in the room were dead. Zemo had disappeared and I saw the man from the bridge, Steve Rogers, emptying his bullets at the screen where Zola was. Natalia grabbed my hand and led me through the corridor, out of the ballet studio, and out into the blizzard. The robot flew in front of us and we followed him. 

“We’re ready Sharon.”I heard Rogers say out loud. 

“Remember when I said you need to trust me?” Natalia asked. I nodded suspicious of her actions. “The jet that took us here can’t land, so we’re gonna use Tony to help us get up there. Okay?” She explained.

“Okay.” I replied. Then the robot, Tony, approached me and the lifted me up into the air. After what felt like minutes of flying I made it inside the jet. “Who the hell are you?” I asked. She looked at me and sighed with disappointment sketched along her features. Although, when she came up to me she quickly gave me a friendly smile. 

“My name is Sharon Carter.” She replied politely. Then Natalia, Rogers, and Tony came aboard. “The one in the robotic suit is Tony, the man in spandex is Steve, and the amazing redhead is Natasha.” 

“Natalia, what’s going on? You said this isn’t the HYDRA we knew, what do you mean?” I questioned. 

“James, I know this may be hard, but HYDRA wasn’t doing good work. We were hurting the people we thought we were protecting.”

“But they promised us-”

“They lied, and they still are hurting people. The people here in this jet are trying to stop HYDRA from hurting anyone else. Listen James, we may not be able to fix what we’ve done, but we can help prevent more people from being hurt.” She explained. I couldn’t understand, she was lying. She had to be, there was no way I would hurt innocent people on purpose.

“Leave me alone.” I mumbled under my breath. I walked to the opposite end of the jet and tried to figure everything out.

 

*******************************************************************************************************

I couldn’t help but worry for both Steve and James. It must be hard to go from best friends to enemies without a warning. I hope James will be okay, it must be scary for him to be in here with all of us. “You think he’ll be okay?” I asked.

“He’ll be fine, they didn’t wipe away his memory completely this time. Give him a couple months and he’ll be back.” Tasha stated.

“You seem so sure, how do you know?” I asked. She kept her gaze on him and smiled.

“Because, he’s done it before under worse circumstances.” She said. I wanted to ask how they knew each other, but I didn’t want to seem intrusive. 

“How are you holding up Tony?” I asked. I knew better than to ask Steve now, but he’s too much in his thoughts for a real answer.

“I’ve had better days. The suit doesn’t seem like it too much damage. We got what we came for and I’m alive, so I can’t complain. How ‘bout you?” He responded.

“I’m fine. We came too late, they got to him. We failed part of our mission.” 

“We still have him back, it wasn’t as bad as it used to be. We have James now, but maybe after a little work we’ll have our Bucky back.” Steve said. I can tell he was coming back from wherever he was in his head.

“Come on guys this is just a rough patch.You seem to forget that we’re better off in this situation than we were when I first met him. Oh and James you can join the conversation, since it’s not like you can’t hear us anyway.” Tony said aloud.I felt slightly embarrassed and Tasha rolled her eyes. James looked in our direction with a skeptical look on his face. Afterwards, I fell asleep on Steve’s shoulder.

*************************************************************************************

I didn’t know what to believe. What was I supposed to do when I found out everything I had been told was a lie. What was I supposed to do when I found out I was hurting the people I was trying to help.


	7. Chapter 7

I walked into the room with Sharon and Lilly behind me. I saw Bucky sit up on a hospital bed and look confused in our direction. 

“Hey Buck. How are you?” I asked as I pulled up a seat for myself and Sharon.

“I’m fine. Who is the little one?” He asked. I smiled.

“This little beauty is Lillian Margaret James Rogers-Carter.” Sharon said gazing at the baby with pride.

“Well that’s a very long and beautiful name.” Bucky said.

“Yeah, well that’s what happens when you want to name your child after so many people. It was a heated argument whether or not her first name would be from Steve’s mom or her own name. In the end I won, she should be able to be her own person and not have to live up to anyone.” Sharon explained.

“Well I can tell you one thing. Little Lilly is going to be a very stubborn kid. It runs too much in your guy's’ family for her not to get any.” Bucky joked. It was nice to have this Bucky back, I could tell he would be a great uncle. “I feel sorry for anyone who tries to talk to Little Lilly. If she doesn’t intimidate them first.” I teased. Sharon handed Lilly over for Bucky to hold. 

“We have a long time before we have to worry about that.” Steve said with slight worry.

“She has Steve’s eyelashes, Peggy’s eyes, Sharon’s good looks, and your mom’s smile.She’s gonna be a force to be reckoned with, especially if she’s gonna have the Avengers as her aunts and uncles..” Bucky said. Lilly started to grab Bucky’s hair and coo, I laughed. He handed her over to Sharon who gave her a toy.

“Let’s go home, we gotta get Bucky adjusted.” Sharon said. We signed out and throughout the entire plane ride Bucky kept making faces at Lilly. It was one of the cutest things ever. I could see Sharon cautiously watching the pair get along. I started took pictures of the five of us, mainly Lilly, documenting everything. After a while Sharon gave Lilly over to Bucky to take care of. You could see all of his attention was focused on her. Sharon looked over at me and whispered into my ear. “When we know Bucky’s fully there I think we’ve found ourselves the perfect babysitter.” Sharon suggested.

“Yeah, between Nat and him she’ll be fully taken care of. When she get’s a little older she can play with Barton’s kids. I’m just waiting on Tony and Peggy to have a little girl. It’ll be karma for everything he did when he was younger.” I said.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to see that happen.You know with the tech out now Nat and Banner could have little thems running around.” Sharon suggested.

“Yeah, only time will tell.” I said. I saw Bucky and Lilly fast asleep, with Bucky not loosening his grip on her. I tried to get Lilly from him, but Sharon stopped me.

“She’s okay. Bucky knows what he’s doing, it’s best to let Lilly wake him up rather than us. I wonder where he got all of this experience from?”

“He had a younger sister he used to take care of. Both of his parents died young, dad died in an accident in basic training and his mom when he was a little kid. His sister died three years ago. He has a grand niece and nephew who are still alive. I don’t think he knows.”

“We should tell him.”

“Yeah.”

****************************************************************************************************

Sharon and the baby went to bed while Bucky and I were listening to music. I was sketching a picture of what grown up Lilly might look like.

“Thanks for everything Buck.” I said. Buck took his eyes off of the sketch and gave me a puzzled look.

“Thanks for what? I should be thanking you, especially after everything.” Bucky questioned.

“For being here and staying with me, as well as helping watch Lilly.” I explained. Bucky shook his head.

“You don’t have to thank me for that. Remember our promise. I’m right here with you-” Bucky said as he held his hand out. I grabbed his hand and said,

“‘Till the end of the line.”

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
